Planning when the future is uncertain
Wills, advance care planning, power of attorney and the conversations nobody starts — done once, calmly, so they stop taking up space. Planning is not giving up.
5 min read · Part of Living With Cancer
Written by The LifeAfterward editorial team from the sources listed at the end of this page.
Not individually reviewed by a clinician. This page is written from published clinical guidance, listed in full at the end, and is general information rather than medical advice — your own team knows your case. See our editorial standards.
Last checked against its sources · Last updated · Next check due
In short
- Planning is not a prediction and it does not bring anything closer. It is the thing that stops a difficult situation being decided by strangers under pressure.
- Three documents cover most of it: a will, a power of attorney or equivalent, and a written record of your wishes about treatment.
- The legal instruments and their names differ by country — the concepts are the same, the paperwork is not.
- People who have had these conversations generally report less anxiety afterwards, and their families report far less guilt later.
What this means
Most people put this off because starting it feels like conceding something. In practice it is a fortnight of admin that buys back months of low-level dread, and it is one of the few parts of this situation entirely within your control. You can also do it and then not think about it again — that is the point of doing it.
The three pieces of paper
- A will
- Says what happens to your property and, crucially, who looks after any children. Dying without one leaves it to a statutory formula that may not match your family at all.
- Power of attorney (names vary widely)
- Lets someone you choose make decisions if you cannot — often split into financial decisions and health and care decisions. It must usually be set up while you have capacity, which is the reason not to leave it.
- Advance care planning
- A written record of what matters to you about treatment and care: what you would want, what you would refuse, and where you would prefer to be cared for. Depending on your country this may include a legally binding refusal of specific treatments.
- A resuscitation or emergency care plan
- A clinical form recording decisions about what should happen in an emergency. Different countries use different names and forms; ask your team what applies where you are and how to have your wishes recorded.
The conversations
The documents are the easy half. The conversations are what actually protect people, because a person who has heard you say it does not have to guess later.
- Tell whoever would be asked what matters most to you — being at home, being comfortable, being able to talk, avoiding a particular intervention.
- Say it once, clearly, to more than one person, and write it down. "We never discussed it" is what haunts families.
- Expect people to resist the conversation. "I need you to know this so you never have to guess" usually gets past it.
- Tell your team too. A wish recorded in your notes travels; a wish held only by your family may not.
- Revisit it if your situation changes. Nothing here is irreversible.
The unglamorous admin
Worth doing while it is easy
- Make or update your will, and check who is named as guardian for any children.
- Set up powers of attorney for finances and for health and care.
- Write down where everything is: accounts, policies, passwords, the solicitor, the pension, the deeds.
- Check life insurance, income protection and mortgage cover for terminal illness clauses.
- Check benefits — many countries have fast-track routes for advanced or terminal illness.
- Nominate who should be told what by the hospital, and record it.
- If you have young children, consider what you would want them told, and by whom.
- Keep it all in one place your family can find. My Journey holds a copy of the medical side on your own device.
And then get on with it
The reason to do this early is that it is finite. Once it is done you are free to spend your attention on things that are not admin — which is the actual goal, and the thing people who have done it consistently report.
If planning has stirred up more than you expected, that is common and worth support: mental health after cancer, and the psychological services attached to palliative care teams, which are usually easier to access than general mental health services.
What to ask your healthcare team
- Is there a form or process here for recording my wishes about treatment?
- Who should I give a copy to, and how do I know it will be seen in an emergency?
- Can the palliative care team help me think this through?
- Is there a social worker or benefits adviser attached to this service?
- What support is there for my family, including children?
- If my situation changed suddenly, who would you contact and what would happen?
Save questions to My Journey so you have them in the room, or use a ready-made list.
When to seek medical advice
Nothing on this page is urgent in itself, but two things are worth acting on rather than sitting with.
Contact your healthcare team if you have:
- Distress, sleeplessness or dread that has followed these conversations and is not settling.
- Any sense that decisions are being made about you rather than with you — say so, and ask for it to be recorded.
- Confusion about what a form you have been asked to sign actually means. Ask before signing.
Get emergency help the same day if you have:
- Thoughts of ending your life, or feeling unable to keep yourself safe — contact emergency services or a crisis line now. See urgent help.
If you are worried and unsure, contact your team anyway — they would far rather hear from you unnecessarily than late. What to do in an emergency.
Common questions
Does advance care planning mean giving up?
No. It records what matters to you so that decisions made on your behalf match your wishes, and it can be changed at any time. It sits alongside active treatment, and people who complete it generally report feeling less anxious rather than more.
When should I sort out a power of attorney?
While you certainly have capacity to make one, which in practice means sooner than feels necessary. Once capacity is lost it usually cannot be arranged, and families are left applying to a court instead — slower, costlier and more distressing.
Sources
This page was written from the guidance below and checked against it on . Links are re-checked at each review — see our editorial standards.
- National Cancer Institute (US). Advanced cancer — coping, care and choices
- World Health Organization. Palliative care — fact sheet
- Macmillan Cancer Support. Secondary (metastatic) cancer
- ASCO (Cancer.Net). Survivorship
- Irish Cancer Society. Cancer information and support